Most kids don’t like the idea that their mothers are actual human beings with feelings and thoughts of their very own. Once you admit that your mom is her own person, she become vulnerable. She makes mistakes. She’s not perfect.

IMG_4824As an adult child, this feeling can still linger. Whether you are 20, 30 or 60, you often want your mom to be a mom first and a person second. When you join a new family, this same feeling can transfer onto your mother-in-law. You want them to be in charge, to take care of themselves (and you and your spouse), to be perfectly and totally together all of the time. Because if they aren’t, then maybe they aren’t ok. Or maybe you aren’t ok. It can take time to adjust to a mother-in-law who isn’t perfect, which, by the way, is the kind that we all have. She raised your husband, and, very likely, she didn’t do it perfectly.

We, as daughters-in-law, get opportunities to show grace on grace. Your mother-in-law thinks her way of making the casserole is a little bit better? Grace. She doesn’t like your new hair color? Grace. She asks why you don’t have kids yet … again? GRACE. This is not an easy thing. And it doesn’t mean you should let your mother-in-law walk all over you. But it does mean that if you feel you need to have a conversation with her about something that bothered you, it’s done from love and not anger. It means not gossiping about her to your husband, or mom, or whoever will listen. It means giving the benefit of the doubt.

Grace builds bridges instead of knocking them down. It creates a path to a really cool relationship between two really flawed people. We all need grace and we all need to give it.

Today’s post was written by the younger half of our blogging team. If you missed our introductory post you can catch it here.  Please feel free to comment. We’d love to hear from you! 

 

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